Cross tides….7/10/12

“To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.”
David Whyte

I struggle, then like a fresh breeze out of nowhere a moment of clarity arrives…sometimes from the most unexpected places. Lately the poetry of Rilke awakens my deep and often misunderstood love for God, nature and myself. Yet, the most endearing voice at the moment is not of a dead poet. It is your voice that I long to hear. Perhaps you are you a prophet, poet, a fellow journeyman, messenger, stranger, a guide. Perhaps you are a part of me. Perhaps nothing is what it seems, yet I carry you in my heart.

Recently I attended my 50th grammar school reunion. It was fun ….old friends, new hero’s, and lots of laughs. What I didn’t expect was to return with a deeply profound understanding of a thirteen years old boy’s innocence and untainted sense of expectation. Buried just below the surface, I discovered the treasures of a little boy put aside in a safe place long ago just waiting to be rediscovered, unwrapped, and loved.

I found myself caught in the cross tides of innocence and knowing – that most often meet in the same person …the tough fragile 13 year old who crept into my dreams and stayed there. I discovered that “youth” is the pond we gaze into later in our lives enabling us to measure the distance we have traveled. Perhaps it is who we are, who we are truly meant to be and not so much who we believe that we have become that’s really important. Perhaps in that pond lies the secret to “what makes my hearts sing.” Perhaps in that pond lies the answer….am I living the life I was called to live?

As a kid,  I’ve been quoted as saying “I’m big and I’m strong.” The fragile little boy doesn’t get it. Yet, that tough fragile kid who I caught staring up at me from the reelecting pond of my life smiled, reached out touched my heart, wiped my tears, held me close, and took my hand reminding me of just how big and strong I still am.”

Nothing is what it seems until we fully embrace ourselves in the cross tides of innocence and knowledge.
Perhaps, the real reunion lies in being truly visible and in  the unfolding of our ourselves to others without fear –  just  in the simple act of caring.

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