Letting Go… 2/7/12

Letting Go

February 7. 2012                                        

I have a hard time when it comes to “letting go.” There’s no shortage of stuff that needs letting go of and there’s plenty more where that came from. And like it or not there’s always more on the way. I’m not talking about the rain that ruined my parade, the parking space you took that I was waiting for or even the call that never came. Some stuff just isn’t worth holding on to. That much I’ve learned.  I’m more concerned with the stuff that has left me deeply wounded and seems void of healing. The wounds that haunt me, cripple me and keep me from moving on. The wounds that heal only after being realized, acknowledged and embraced. Wounds that may very well be blessings in disguise.  Wounds that keep me from seeing myself as I really am and that hold the key to my personal freedom. The very same wounds that never heal because I spend more time attacking than understanding them. The very same wounds that I keep stuffing with addictions while hoping for a miraculous cure.

It’s time to let go of the clutter that clogs the wounds, keeps the out the light and keeps me stuck. It’s time to obsess on having a life that’s happy, joyous and free. It’s time to let go and embrace personal freedom instead of just dreaming about it. It’s time to say hello, understand and befriend.

In her book Seasons of Your Heart: Prayers & Reflections, Macrina Wiederkehr writes:

Slowly, gently
I lift the clutter out of my life.
I must let go of my ego-self
It’s like an old friend.
It’s a bit hard to send it on its way.
It has become a kind of cherished sin for me
a dis-ease that I am familiar with.
Still, it has hindered my growth
and kept me from adoring.
It has prevented me from noticing
the holy ground of my life.

And so, I kiss it good-bye.
Yes, I kiss it.
I embrace it.
It is part of myself
I cannot simply cast it aside.
I pray for its conversion.
All the clutter in my life
that I have clung to
with such devotion
will be born again
in some new and better form.

It is the shadow side of myself.
If I befriend it
it will arise
from the ashes of falseness
into the glory of truth.

My uncontrollable anger
becomes a passionate, prophetic zeal.
My possessive clutching
becomes generous giving.
My abundance of unnecessary words
melt into the one great word.
My deafening noise
becomes the sound of silence.
My need for approval from others
becomes a need to affirm others.
My need to control
becomes my need to share.
My fear is changed into love
my anxiety into trust.

Yes, all the clutter of my life
that ego stuff that held me back
when embraced and owned
can change before my very eyes into grace.

What was a hindrance becomes a blessing.
What was an enemy becomes a friend.
What was darkness is now my light.
What was my clutter is now my treasure.

There is no freedom
like seeing myself as I am
and not losing heart.
There is no freedom
like looking at myself as I am
and saying, “Yes, that’s me!”
There is no freedom
like taking myself in my arms.
Only in that embrace
will I understand my wounds.
Only in that embrace
will I understand healing.
Only in that embrace
will I come to know my true self.

If our personal journeys from brokenness to wholeness from darkness to light are to end in personal freedom and living life out loud we must come from trust and a willingness to discover and stand steadfastly in our truth. Whether our journey is to the Promised Land, Mecca or Emmaus, in our hearts we know it’s a journey we are called to take and we may stumble, skin our knees, cry and laugh along the way.

If we can learn to hope in the darkness think of what we can do in the light.

 

On February 22, 2012, I invite you and your friends to join me in embracing the darkness and celebrating the light. As we begin a new series entitled “Exploration.” We’ll examine topics that provide strength, hope and direction as each of us embarks on our own journeys to the Promised Land, Mecca or Emmaus.

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